Blog Awards and Stuff

I got a couple of awards last week, both of them from Zan at In the Shade of the Cherry Tree.  The Stylish Blogger Award and the One Lovely Blog Award.*  Thanks, Zan!

We all know how this works by now, so I won’t bother you with the rules guidelines.  I’m suppose to write seven interesting things about myself and then pass the awards on to fifteen other blogs.  The passing on is no problem, but I’ve tried to come up with seven interesting things about myself, and guess what?  I’m not all that interesting.

In light of this unfortunate realization, instead of listing seven facts about me, I’m going to open it up you guys.  Ask me anything you want, and I’ll answer it.  It doesn’t even have to be about writing.  Go on, it doesn’t matter how private or potentially embarrassing.  I’m not currently under any gag orders, so do your worst.

Anyway, onto the awards:

• Bess at It’s the World, Dear
• Lana at Lana Banana
• Marieke at Marieke’s Musings
• Sarah at the Precocious Scribe
• Susan Fields
• Jodi at Turning the Page, a Literary Ramble
• Cindy at Dreamer’s Perch
• Kimberly at Meetings with My Muse
• VR Barkowski
• Lindsey at Dangerous with a Pen
• Elizabeth Twist
• Summer at My Inner Fairy
• Misha at My First Book
• Patricia at Simplicity in Volumes
• Jane at Jane’s Ride

These blogs, and many others, always brighten my day with there wit, insight, and just downright awesomeness.  I won’t say Congrats, but instead Thank You.

*I am lovely, if I do say so myself.

Oh, What a Tangled Web We Weave, When We Something Something Something (Crusader Challenge)

There is a lie here, somewhere.  Can you catch it?

Fuliguline?  Wasn’t he the Roman Emperor who had all those crazy sex parties?  I don’t know.  I can’t stand history: dead people and dates.  If I wanted that, I’d read a zombie love story.  Speaking of rabbits, I have a dreadfully short attention span.  As a result my speech tends to be peppered (read: overrun) with non sequiturs.  I attribute this to my undiagnosed ADD, undiagnosed because my childhood pre-dates the existence of the disease.  When I was growing up, it was called “lack of focus” or “lazy”.  This is why I consider myself a much better writer than a speaker.  With writing you can craft a sentence, taking your time to get the thoughts just right, unlike speaking.  You can’t backspace a big mouth.

I was born on the wrong side of the ocean.  Then again, had I actually hailed from Great Britain, I probably wouldn’t be obsessed with all things English.  Shakespeare, The Who, Kate Winslet, that thing on C-Span 2 where the Prime Minister and Members of Parliament yell at each other and bloviate when they get in a particularly clever insult.  My affliction’s not as severe as it was, though.  After my visit to Albion five years ago, I almost got a tattoo of the Union Jack stretching from shoulder blade to shoulder blade.  I didn’t.  For a while there, I was using “full stop” instead of “period” and spelling math with an “s”.  I’d still like to live there some day.  Maybe.

I’ll end this with my best trait: I’m loyal.  To family, to friends, even to my job.  I know what it’s like to have someone bail on you or turn against you.  Life’s hard enough trying to dodge the obstacles that are clearly marked without having to worry about the ones in disguise.

The preceding was my entry in the First Crusader Challenge hosted by Rachael at Rach Writes.  It’s a “get to know you” exercise, but with one lie included.  Anyone who knows me will catch it right away.  For the other challenge rules, and to read some better entries, click here. 

By the way, without even trying, I hit exactly 300 words.  Do I get a bonus point for that?

This is Totally My Idiom Blogfest Entry

Sorry I’m late, Delia.

It’s appropriate (or ironic, maybe) that I’m two days late posting my entry for a blogfest hosted by a blog titled Procrastination Rehabilitation.  I worked all day Thursday, then yesterday my dog had puppies.  But finally, here it is, and definitely not something worth waiting for.  At least it’s not long.  Oh, and there’s a little profanity in it, just so you know.

And the idiom in question should be obvious.

 

“Come on, Vince.  Don’t leave me hanging.” 

“Hanging, good one,” Vince said through a laugh without humor.  “You’re a funny guy, you know that?”

“Look, I’m sorry.  I fucked up.  I know that.  I’m really, really sorry.” 

“So how come you weren’t sorry ten minutes ago?” Eddie chimed in.

“Look, it’s not my fault, not entirely.”  Sonny wanted this to be over.  He was starting to lose feeling in his legs.

“Not entirely,” Vince repeated. 

“Okay, I wasn’t thinking, but I can take care of it.  I promise.”

“All right, I’ll let you off the hook.  It’s freezing in here, anyway.”

“Thank you, Vince.  I…thank you.”

“Yeah, shut up.  Eddie, get him down.”

Eddie and the other goon grabbed Sonny around the legs and lifted him up a bit, releasing the meat hook’s hold on Sonny’s jacket.  They set him on the ground, and he collapsed to the meat packing plant’s slick floor.  He’d smell like dead cow the rest of his life, but he didn’t care.  He knew how lucking he was.  It wasn’t often Vincent Spirelli, grandson of Antonio Spirelli, Godfather of the Spirelli family, let something go.  Sonny had some serious sucking up to do.

“Thank you, Vince,” Sonny said as he climbed onto shaky feet.  “Thanks for not holding me responsible.”

“Oh, I am holding you responsible, you worthless pile of dog shit.”

“But you just said…”

“I said I’m letting you off the hook, and you’re not on the hook anymore, are you?  This way you can stand on your own two feet.  Makes it more dignified for you.”

“But…but Vince.  Come on, Man.  You said…”

Sonny tried to fight tears as his pleas to Vince fell on deaf ears, ears deafened by the crack of gunfire, the last thing Sonny would ever hear.

 

For better entries, click here.

104 and a Crusade

I wanted to address both of these topics a couple of days ago, but I’ve been both sick and busy.  For those of you who read this blog regularly, the busy part will come as no surprise, and since I was outside working on the ambulance during the worst of Snowageddon or Snowpocalypse, the sick part should be expected as well.  Anyway, on to the fun stuff.

This past Sunday I got my one hundredth follower.  As of right now (Wednesday morning) I’m at one hundred four.  Don’t ask me how that happened.  I’m still amazed that anyone would want to read my little ramblings.  When I started this blog four months ago and I stared holes into my single follower, me, I wondered what the magic formula was to generate the kind of readership I saw elsewhere, what potion or spell I could use to conjure a triple-digit following.  I still don’t know.  Maybe it’s because I don’t know, or at least because I haven’t worried about it.  This blog is a much for me as for anyone else, and the fact that even one person would want share in my personal musings can counteract even a thousand impersonal form rejections.  Thank you all for taking this ride with me.  It means a lot.

Now onto the Crusade.  Rachael Harrie at Rachael Writes is hosting her Second Annual Platform Building Crusade, which is in full swing now until April 30th.  The idea is to have a list of like-minded blogs that we can link to, make connections, and build our platforms.  It’s a great idea, really.  Click on the link above for what to do (not much, really) and then sign up.  Really, why wouldn’t you?

Go Away, I’m Writing Award

I got another award.  This one’s from Jodi at Turning the Page, a Literary Ramble.  It’s called the Go Away, I’m Writing Award.  Thanks Jodi!  It’s a coffee mug; how awesome is that?  I love coffee mugs.  I used to have a whole collection until my kids broke most of them.  This award come with no obligations but to pass it on, and since I didn’t play nice and share my last award, I am going to pass this one on.

Patricia at Simplicity in Volumes

Meredith at Fairy Tales and Cappuccino

Hannah at Musings of a Palindrome

These are all great blogs about not only writing, but the writer’s life, about everyday ordeals mixed with the hope and the drive to be Published.  They achieve what I strive for in my humble attempts at wit and relevance.  They certainly don’t need an award from me to validate there awesomeness, but they’re getting it anyway.

Show Me Yours Blogfest Entry

For my Eye Candy entry, click here.

For my 100 Words entry, click here.

DISCLAIMER:  I haven’t touched this since NaNo.  I’ve made no attempt to edit, revise, polish, whatever.  What you’re getting is pure first draft.  So, considered yourself warned.

This for the Show Me Yours Blogfest, host by Hannah @ Musings of a Palindrome.  I signed up for it before I remembered my NaNo novel kind of blows.  Well, it’s not that bad, but it needs a lot of work, as most first drafts do.  So I’ll show your mine, just promise not to giggle.

The setup: This is from Kids Eat Free, a YA horror novel.  Sixteen-year-old Wendy died when the bus she was on crash into a lake.  She died saving others.  Wendy’s boyfriend Doug couldn’t handle the grief, and made a pack with a mysterious figure who promised to give him Wendy back.  Unfortunately, he didn’t say anything about “alive”.  Wendy comes back, but as a revenant, basically a zombie with a brains and a personality.

Despite the creep factor, things go well at first with both Doug and her family a accepting of her new status.  But when Wendy starts give in to new urges, everything falls apart.

The setup for this scene is that Wendy has killed a fifteen-year-old girl, Cami, and Doug has finally realized how dangerous she is and tried to kill her…or whatever.  Feeling hurt and betrayed, she pays a visit to Doug’s house.

Remember: Rough Draft.  Very, very rough.

She can’t feel the pain, but Wendy knows something’s wrong.  She must have broken something. He must have broke something.  Doug.  The boy of her dreams.  The love of her life. Well, her life’s over, isn’t it?  And her dreams are as dead she is.  She had to stand there and listen to him as he tore her apart with his words, murdering her with hate.  He called her a monster, and his “mess”. He dragged her across the ground to the bridge as she begged him to stop, begged him to just talk to her, but he wouldn’t. He didn’t give her a chance. She was good enough for a cheap fuck in the stockroom, but when things got tough and she needed him the most, he turned on her. 

It’s good that she can’t cry anymore, because the tears would never stop. She doesn’t need tears. There are other, better ways to express grief, and she can’t wait to try them out. They want a monster, guess what? 

The door opens and derails her train of thought.  This is her first visit to the Stanton home; she’d never yet been invited, big surprise.  Behind the door stands a blond girl about seven years old with wide blue eyes: Doug’s sister.  She wears a pink cotton nightgown and clutches a white stuffed bunny to her chest.

“Well, you’re up late, Cutie Pie,”  Wendy says, though she knows the girl will hear nothing but a sick moan.  “Aren’t you afraid the monsters’ll get you?”  The girl slices the air with a scream that hangs in Wendy’s ears as the girl gets a good look at her.  She doesn’t blame the little thing.  She’s young; she doesn’t know what else to do. She doesn’t know that it won’t do her any good.

Remember, it’s a very rough draft.  Just saying.

100 Words for $100 Blogfest Entry

For the Eye Candy Blogfest Entry, click here.

Elena @ You’re Write.  Except When You’re Rong is hosting a blogfest this month.  Write a 100 word sentence (give or take five words).  It doesn’t have to follow any particular theme or formula, just one long sentence and that’s it.  It’s perfect for those of us like me with short attention

This is my entry.  It’s exactly 100 words.  It’s not from anything, just wrote it for this.

It was on one of those blindingly bright January mornings for which a word like “cold” – a word used to describe a refreshing bottle of Bud on a hot afternoon, or day-old pizza, or that girl from the drum majors who unapologetically (and even a little cheerfully) rejected your prom invite louder than she needed to in the commons just after fifth period – just couldn’t come close to painting a picture, a day for which words like “blistering” and “frigid” were invented, a day in which the sun was little more than decoration, that Jack finally realized he loved Emily.

Enough About Me, Let’s Talk About Me

So I gussied up a little around here.  Added a few things, put up some proverbial curtains.  I think it looks a little better, but I’d love to hear what you all think.  The timing couldn’t be better, either, because Sanguine Musings has been named the “Blog of the Week” by Pandora Poiklilos @ Peace from Pieces.  Pandora has a weekly feature called Blog-A-Licious blogs in which she pores over of dozens of blogs each week and makes a list of about twenty or so blogs every week that are, in her words “Awesomeness, Interesting, and Pass-it-On”.  Out of all those sites, she chose my humble little effort to single out.  I’m really honored; this isn’t just an I-like-you-you-like-me-where’s-my-cupcake-thing.  It makes me believe I’m actually doing something worthwhile here.  Also, please check out her site; she blogs not only about writing, but about serious issues such as human rights and making the world better place to live.  While I write about doggie sex and zombies.

Okay, enough of that, it’s Blogfest time!  I entered a couple.  And by a couple, of course, I mean three.  I really like the concept of the blogfest in general: a place to discover new blogs and meet new people while sharing your creativity.  The only problem is that I’m busy enough without entering these things.  The nice thing about these three, though, is that I only have to write a total of three sentences between them.

First up, the New Creation Blogfest hosted by Summer @ My Inner Fairy.  The rules for this one are simple: take the last line of a story you’ve already written, and write the first line of a story you’ve been thinking about for a while.  Sort of a looking-back-looking-forward theme, perfect for the start of a new year.

Second, is the 100 Words for $100 Blogfest hosted by Elena @ You’re Write.  Except When You’re Rong.  Yes, there’s a prize.  For this contest, simply write a sentence.  No biggie, right?  Of course, the sentence has to be 100 words longs, give or take five.  For those of you who’ve gotten used to my incessant ramblings, you know the challenge for me won’t be writing 100 words, but writing only 100 words.

Last up, and – with all due respect to the other two – the one I’m most looking forward to, is the Significant Other Blogfest, co-hosted by DL @ Cruising Altitude and Talli Roland.  On January 21st, they want you to turn your blog over to your significant other and have them write a post about what it’s like living with a writer.  For you single types, they point out that “significant other” doesn’t have to mean spouse.  It could be your boyfriend or girlfriend.  It doesn’t even have to be a romantic significant other; it could be your child, your roommate, your parole officer, whatever.  Any one who feels the effects, good and bad, of someone close to them trying to make their way in the publishing world.  For me, that would be my wonderful wife, Kristy, by far the most significant of my others.  On January 21st, I’m going sit back while she writes a moving, thoughtful, often humorous account of the life of a writer’s wife.  You’re going to love it.

Boy is she going to be surprised when she reads this.

Well Now You’ve Gone and Given Me the Warm and Fuzzies

I won an award!  Thank you so much to Every Book and Cranny for presenting little old me with the Versatile Blogger Award.   It’s my first blogging award, and it comes just in time to offset my mini-downer for not finishing NaNo.  I’m really touched and I appreciate her taking the time not only to read my little crazy ramblings, but also to recognize it in some small way. 

Of course, there are stipulations.  The rules are:

1. Share 7 things about myself
2. Pass the award to 15 bloggers five bloggers recently discovered
3. Notify the blogger recipients
4. Link to the blogger who gave the award

Okay, seven things about me:

1. I’ve lived my whole life since I was two years old in the American Midwest, yet I’ve never been on a horse.  And it’s not from lack of want to, either.  I have been on an elephant, though.  Go figure.
2. About four years ago, I had the Roman numeral thirteen tattooed on my wrist in an attempt to overcome my triskaidekaphobia.  It worked.
3. There are three levels of emergency medical technician.  EMT-B are the “basic” techs.  They can do first aid, administer oxygen, and perform CPR with an AED.  EMT-I are “intermediate” and are just as the name suggests.  Indiana and Illinois (where I work and live, respectively) do not utilize “I’s” too frequently.  EMT-P are the highest tier and also known as paramedics.  Paramedics can start IV’s, perform CPR with manual defibrillators, give medications, intubate, and a lot more, like drill a hole into your leg (seriously).  I’m a paramedic.  Being a paramedic is in at least one way like being a writer: if you don’t have the passion for it, if you’re just doing it to cash a paycheck, you’ll burn out really fast.
4. In the past few days, I’ve become mildly obsessed with a particular Richard Scarry book I had as a child.  I can’t remember the name, but I’d know it if I saw it; I can see several of the pages in my head as if I’d just leafed through them yesterday.  I don’t know why it’s so important to me lately, except that I loved that book and for what could have been years but were more likely months, I carried it with me everywhere.  It’s a time stamp of a simpler day, a time before car payments and broken faucets, and other trappings of adulthood.  It runs the risk of becoming my “Rosebud”.  On the other hand, if chasing after a kids’ book starring an earthworm in a fedora is the extent of my midlife crisis, I think everyone will be okay with that.
5. The three greatest words in the English language: “Wrapped in bacon.”
6. I’m a pretty awful speller* (in fact, I just misspelled “awful” (and “misspelled”)).  In my world, which mostly consists of family and work, I’m “that writer guy,” or the “book guy.”  So people are always asking me how to spell things.  It’s probably like working with someone who happens to be a podiatrist on the side (“Hey, can you take a look at something for me?” Plops bare foot on lunch table).  Generally, the people asking me to spell things aren’t writing words like triskaidekaphobia, but sometimes I feel like I’m hiding some dark secret from them, like I’m secretly a Cylon** or something.  I spelled “Cylon” right, didn’t I?
7. About two and a half years ago I was living alone as what they used to call a “confirmed bachelor”.  I’d been spit out of one bad relationship after another and decided I was done; never again would I get serious with anyone.  So naturally, I celebrated my one year wedding anniversary this past September and for the past year and a half, I’ve been the father of two teenage boys.  That was probably the biggest, most abrupt change in a life of abrupt changes.  But it’s also been the best thing that’s ever happened to me: challenging to be sure, but worth every minute.  I never would have thought I wanted kids, but must have, because I don’t what I’d do without either of them, or their mom. 

Anyway, enough with the mumbo-jumbo.  On to the fun part.  My immediate predecessor doled out five of these instead of fifteen.  Five sounds like a good number to me.

Here they are:

Spinning Threads – Emily writes very nice poetry and blogs about writing, spirituality, and life in general.
 
Turning the Page: A Literary Ramble – Jodi’s site is jammed packed with all kinds of writer goodies like writing tips, anecdotes, book reviews.  She even offers up samples of her work (it’s very good).  On top of all that, she’s hosting a Query Letter Blogfest in about a week.  You can sign up for that here.

Elevator Musings – Erica blogs about reading, writing, and grammar.  She manages to be witty and down-to-earth all at once.  Not only that, but she forever changed how I dunk my Oreos.

Busy, Busy, Buttons – This site has nothing to do with writing or publishing.  In fact, the author of the blog doesn’t even have opposable thumbs.  Buttons, a ten-year-old Shih Tzu blogs about life as a (pampered) pooch, her occasional power struggles with her mother, and her dazzling collection of squeaky toys.  I don’t really remember how I came upon this site, but I’m so glad I did; it’s a lot of fun.  I defy you to read this blog in a bad mood and not be cheered up at least a little.

Dead End Follies – Not only does Ben blog about writing, books, and the literary world in general, but he also offers insightful reviews running the gamut of popular culture: music, movies, video games.  He blogs a lot.  I had three posts in November; I think he had three in the time it took me to write this.  That’s a good thing, though, because he always has something interesting to say.

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* I’m a bad speller and a bad typist.  You’d think those two would occasionally cancel each other out and I would “typo” the misspelled word into the correct spelling.  Well, no.
** How awesome would that be?