Thursday, February 24, 2011

Oh, What a Tangled Web We Weave, When We Something Something Something (Crusader Challenge)

There is a lie here, somewhere.  Can you catch it?

Fuliguline?  Wasn’t he the Roman Emperor who had all those crazy sex parties?  I don’t know.  I can’t stand history: dead people and dates.  If I wanted that, I’d read a zombie love story.  Speaking of rabbits, I have a dreadfully short attention span.  As a result my speech tends to be peppered (read: overrun) with non sequiturs.  I attribute this to my undiagnosed ADD, undiagnosed because my childhood pre-dates the existence of the disease.  When I was growing up, it was called “lack of focus” or “lazy”.  This is why I consider myself a much better writer than a speaker.  With writing you can craft a sentence, taking your time to get the thoughts just right, unlike speaking.  You can’t backspace a big mouth.

I was born on the wrong side of the ocean.  Then again, had I actually hailed from Great Britain, I probably wouldn’t be obsessed with all things English.  Shakespeare, The Who, Kate Winslet, that thing on C-Span 2 where the Prime Minister and Members of Parliament yell at each other and bloviate when they get in a particularly clever insult.  My affliction’s not as severe as it was, though.  After my visit to Albion five years ago, I almost got a tattoo of the Union Jack stretching from shoulder blade to shoulder blade.  I didn’t.  For a while there, I was using “full stop” instead of “period” and spelling math with an “s”.  I’d still like to live there some day.  Maybe.

I’ll end this with my best trait: I’m loyal.  To family, to friends, even to my job.  I know what it’s like to have someone bail on you or turn against you.  Life’s hard enough trying to dodge the obstacles that are clearly marked without having to worry about the ones in disguise.

The preceding was my entry in the First Crusader Challenge hosted by Rachael at Rach Writes.  It’s a “get to know you” exercise, but with one lie included.  Anyone who knows me will catch it right away.  For the other challenge rules, and to read some better entries, click here

By the way, without even trying, I hit exactly 300 words.  Do I get a bonus point for that?

16 comments:

  1. I'm guessing the lie is that you almost got the tattoo.

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  2. Hello fellow crusader! I am a tad bit late, the whole house has been sick all week. So, I just thought I would pop in and just say Hi! :D


    ooohhhh I was born on the wrong side of the pond too! Although, I did live in England for 4 years! Still want to go back. But seriously, really??! watching CSPAN-2?! highly unlikely you will find the British Parliament there! BBC2, maybe...if that's still around! :D

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  3. This is classic! Well written.

    I'm going with the tattoo being the lie.

    P.S. Good luck on hearing about ABNA today. I wish the best for you.

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  4. I think you deserve a bonus point.

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  5. Caligula.
    The lie is that you hate history... I mean, how could you like research and hate history?

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  6. LOL, Dan! "You can’t backspace a big mouth." That's genius! I've quit trying to find the lies. The posts are just too delisious.

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  7. " You can’t backspace a big mouth." I suffer this affliction also.

    I was too entertained in reading your submission to make any guesses. Well, you do love research, and England is full of long dead people in love. Some of your favorite things conflict with that statement.

    Oh hey; I didn't know you joined ABNA. I'll have to see if your name came up. I made it past the pitch round.

    Thanks for this great read. I enjoyed myself :)

    Have great weekend Dom.

    ..........dhole

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  8. Thanks for the comments, Everyone. I'm very slowing making my way around to everyone else's. Guessing the lies is hard.

    Oh, and someone guessed right on mine.

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  9. teehee--I enjoyed that! I think the lie is not liking history...

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  10. Love that you used humor in this so much. It had a great flow! I'm a pretty big Anglophile myself (my husband is sick to death with all the BBC shows I watch), so I'm going to guess that you did go ahead and get the tatoo?

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  11. Too bad we can't backspace when speaking. Love the idea of that ... hmmm.

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  12. I'm guessing that you weren't born on the wrong side of the ocean. :) Is that like getting up on the wrong side of the bed? lol

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  13. Hi Dan - finally stopping by to say hi and follow! Love your blog. Is it the tattoo?

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  14. Hmmm... Perhaps you don't really enjoy watching Parliament. (Goodness knows I've tried & failed at that very thing.)

    And I still spell "maths" with an 's'. :D

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  15. Hey there, fellow crusader. Thanks for visiting my post. I'm going to guess that you really do like history! BTW...I'll post my lie tomorrow, but you were one of three who guessed correctly. Nice.

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  16. Sorry I didn't get to this sooner! I must have skipped over some names with all of the liars that posted :) and yours I missed!!! Seems like you didn't do a very good job of concealing your lie though... Cheers!

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