Oh, What a Tangled Web We Weave, When We Something Something Something (Crusader Challenge)

There is a lie here, somewhere.  Can you catch it?

Fuliguline?  Wasn’t he the Roman Emperor who had all those crazy sex parties?  I don’t know.  I can’t stand history: dead people and dates.  If I wanted that, I’d read a zombie love story.  Speaking of rabbits, I have a dreadfully short attention span.  As a result my speech tends to be peppered (read: overrun) with non sequiturs.  I attribute this to my undiagnosed ADD, undiagnosed because my childhood pre-dates the existence of the disease.  When I was growing up, it was called “lack of focus” or “lazy”.  This is why I consider myself a much better writer than a speaker.  With writing you can craft a sentence, taking your time to get the thoughts just right, unlike speaking.  You can’t backspace a big mouth.

I was born on the wrong side of the ocean.  Then again, had I actually hailed from Great Britain, I probably wouldn’t be obsessed with all things English.  Shakespeare, The Who, Kate Winslet, that thing on C-Span 2 where the Prime Minister and Members of Parliament yell at each other and bloviate when they get in a particularly clever insult.  My affliction’s not as severe as it was, though.  After my visit to Albion five years ago, I almost got a tattoo of the Union Jack stretching from shoulder blade to shoulder blade.  I didn’t.  For a while there, I was using “full stop” instead of “period” and spelling math with an “s”.  I’d still like to live there some day.  Maybe.

I’ll end this with my best trait: I’m loyal.  To family, to friends, even to my job.  I know what it’s like to have someone bail on you or turn against you.  Life’s hard enough trying to dodge the obstacles that are clearly marked without having to worry about the ones in disguise.

The preceding was my entry in the First Crusader Challenge hosted by Rachael at Rach Writes.  It’s a “get to know you” exercise, but with one lie included.  Anyone who knows me will catch it right away.  For the other challenge rules, and to read some better entries, click here. 

By the way, without even trying, I hit exactly 300 words.  Do I get a bonus point for that?